He kinda looks like Se7en in this shot..

[K-Drama] - Bad Family

So I went through 16 very long episode of Bad Family and lemme say this drama really touched on what it means to be in a family and actually have a real family, regardless of whether they're blood relatives or not.

Me personally, I liked the drama. It was comical, adventurous, heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same times. I truly enjoyed watching this drama. I'm not gonna lie, there were some things that I hated about it, not so much the story line or the acting, but more so characters, or one to be more particular. I think that casting was very well done (and no I didn't watch it simply because Heechul's cute little ass was in it, but lemme say it was a definitely a BIG plus haha).

Dal Gun and Yang Ah, of course being the male and female leads, were amazingly awesome characters. Both were strong, had a story behind them and something they truly reached for, though I must admit, the first episode did throw me off a little bit since I didn't have a single clue what was going on, but as they showed Na Rim's story and what happened to her family, and then established the plot, I definitely came to love each of the characters as I learned their stories.

I especially loved the relationship between Dal Gun and Teacher Jang.. Haha.. Neither had ever really had a real family and as they learn a little bit more about one another, especially toward the end of the series, you definitely feel a bit of a father son bond going on there and it was really heartwarming to see that going on. I also loved Manddu Ajumma's relationship with Teacher Jang.. Haha.. She made so much fun of him, but it was totally cute.

A number of times there were definitely relationships that I questioned such as Gong Min's and Ah Na's. That definitely threw me for a loop and constantly asked myself 'What is you like about her?' But as the series progressed and you saw them interect more with one another, you definitely see the bubbly cuteness that is definitely lacking in every other character relationship.

But anyway.. This family of strangers came together as one. The only thing any of them really had in common was debt, but after a while and after learning more about each other, they realized that they all came from a broken family or even no family at all. They had much more in common than anyone of them could have realized  and because of their similarities and their struggles together, they found love, a family love that couldn't possibly be bought.

I really liked the end of the drama. ^____^  I thought it was picture perfect considering the characters' personalities and all that. Definitely one of my favorites and I'll probably talk about it for a long time to come.

I definitely recommend it to anyone who might skim across this entry at 3 in the morning.. or whatever time you're reading it.. heh.. But I definitely liked the story and the characters. (And Heechul's cute little ass.)


He kinda looks like Se7en in this shot..

@*#%&!!!! %^#@$!!!!!!

I've discovered that I seem to write endlessly when bothered.. Among other things.. I also lock my keys in the car because I forget.. I forget a lot of things when I'm angry.. And recently.. Anger has definitely been the thing I've been feeling most. My mother reminded me that I'm a spoiled brat that expects the sun to rise and fall on my ass every single day yet will give nothing in return. She also reminded me that my plans to move far far away will probably fail since they are unrealistic, oh and I a damned to an eternity of waiting for my grandparents in countless waiting rooms for countless hours because there is no one else in the whole fucking family that will take them to the hospital. I am quite clearly the only person that can do this.. I have been to the hospital.. Let's see.. 7 or 8 times, soon to be 8 or 9 times in the past two weeks. I have had to cancel my plans, be late to work, starve and go sick because they don't want to ask anyone else, even though they say they always could ask someone else.. I have no gas and they won't give me money, my job doesn't pay shit and it's harder and harder every day because they're trying my patience..

My only form of release? Writing.. While other people eat.. or throw stuff.. or well.. I write.. I only start yelling when they try to stop me from writing.. If they want me to be a damn slve for the family, then when I sit down to write or type, then they'd be wise to let me have that little time that I have..

I've noticed that I've been torturing my DBSK boys for a bit.. Well.. This is why.. Well.. I tortured Changmin.. twice.. because of how rotten I feel on the inside.. I'm just so angry and I feel like I'm screaming and screaming and the people that care about me can do nothing about it.. But it's only a phase right..? Come January, when I get the hell up out of here, I'll be good.. The sooner I get out, the sooner I'm free.. The sooner I'm free, the sooner I'll be happy again and can really get rollin' with the School Daze Sequel..


Until that day comes.. I only have to suffer through a few more holidays.. Deal with the family a few more times.. But as far as these doctor's appointments go, I quit... I'm not anyone's freakin call boy and I refuse to be treated as such. Who gives a shit if I'm the youngest one in the house.. I have stuff that I have to do that's not getting done because I have to cater to them and it's not fair. One reason I would even want children in the future is so that when I get old an annoying they can put me in one of those expensive country club nursing homes or even an assisted living community. That's what my grandparents need because they won't take care of themselves and they aren't listening to us.. The only thing they do is go to the doctor and for what..? To ignore his orders?

I don't have the patience to deal with how stubborn they are.

Crying is not something I do easily, even now I'm not crying, but at the same time, I've completely withdrawn from my mother and grandparents to the point where they don't even know if I'm home or if I'm awake. If I am home, I'm in my room with the music blaring so I can't hear them or I'm pretending to be asleep. I hate that I'm avoiding them, but if gets them to leave me alone then so be it. They don't give me the time to recollect myself and calm down and it's like they're pushing and pushing to see if I'm gonna break or not..

Really.. Last night when I was called the 'slefish brat' of the family and the 'loose cannon' I really snapped.. I haven't spoken civily to my mom yet and I don't intend to any time soon. Not until she apologizes. My grandma tries to act like she hasn't been sucking gas out of my car and suggest that we go eat. My response is always the same, "Not if I have to drive there." My grandpa doesn't talk to me.. But that's nothing.. He doesn't talk to anybody.

I'm sick, I'm tired, they don't even know that I'm having sleep problems, my mom is getting ready to drop me from her insurance so if I get sick again I would have to pay an arm a leg and a first born child in order to get medical help and I really appreciate nothing my family has done for me right now. They've given me hedaches and food, even the food is lacking because I have to go elsewhere to eat since we really have no money to even go grocery shopping.

I feel like a fucking charity case.

It's a miracle I even have a computer to even type on.. -.-

I don't cry.. But I want to..
He kinda looks like Se7en in this shot..

Tell Me / Lies / Lovesick

I love this clip SO freaking much and I always have trouble finding it so I thought that posting it in my journal I would be able to watch whenever I wanted to.. These guys are brilliant! Haha.. too funny for words, but with true talent.. Hahahaha~~!!!

He kinda looks like Se7en in this shot..


I'm too sensitive for my own good.. Why have I come to this conclusion..? Because I just am.. especially about my writing. When I write I put a lot of mself into my work, you know, to make it something that I can relate to in some way or another. Not that I am a gay man that's totally in love with a Korean guy (I'm straight girl in love with Korean men though.. So I suppose that counts for something.. Heh..) but I put my emotions and ideals into a story..

If it does poorly.. then I feel like there's something in me that's lacking.. You know..?

I know I know.. I shouldn't wait for the judgment of others to know if what I posted was good or not.. Blah blah blah.. I should have faith in my own writing and what not, but it really isn't that easy.. I don't know how to explain it really.. But it bothers me when I feel like something I posted doesn't do well.. Or gets no feeback..

It bothers me even more and I go back to said piece of writing and start ripping apart.. Picking out my mistakes and then further dissecting it.. I guess I'm one of those people in life who will never be satisfied with her own work.. I always want it to be better.. *shrug* Maybe it's just a demand for perfection, or maybe I continuously compare myself to others which is a very bad thing to do.. But I can't help it.. I put others on a pedastal while I leave myself in their dust..


Writing is such a complicated form of art.. I don't see how so many can stick with it loyally and not lose themselves to it completely.. Power to the people who write professionally.. -.-'
He kinda looks like Se7en in this shot..


I've have rediscovered the little punk rock princess within me.. well.. however small and slight she might be. Heh.. Though I truly love that classic R&B the singer Younha just totally astounds me and I quite say why.. I've only really just heard of her not even 24 hours ago and have probably downloaded both her Korean and Japanese albums as well as the music videos to go with..

This never happens to me.. Not with female artists anyway. Don't get me wrong, I totally love HyoRi and Wonder Girls, but I usually remain drooling over my boys because.. well let's face it, they're sexy as hell and I want them all to myself. -.-'  

But anyway.. Back to Younha..

I like the sound of her voice.. and the style of her music.. And let's face it, sister girl is beautiful. Like seriously, if I was an adorable little Korean girl, I would definitely want to look like her. Haha.. But.. I dunno why her music just appeals to me, but it definitely does.. Hmm.. Might I have a new favorite female artist? Hmm.. Sorry HyoRi, but Younha just might have you beat in my opinion. Haha, though their styles are totally different and are reaching out to difference audiences, there really isn't enough room for me to have more than one favorite.. It's really exhausting just going through the process of picking one.

Anyway.. There really is no point to this entry.. I just wanted to talk about Younha.. Because.. Well.. She's cool..? o.O

I really need to go to sleep.. -.-'

Oh and uh.. heh.. OBAMA IS THE PRESIDENT!!!! OH YEAH!!
He kinda looks like Se7en in this shot..

History Has Been Made..

Everyone in my family is saying the same thing..

I never thought I'd ever see a black president.

It's just like.. Oh my goodness.. I'm so happy.. and so speechless.. And so.. It's just.. Wow.. I bet Chris Rock never imagined that after 'Head of State' there would really be a black man to go for president. But aside from the color.. I really do think that Obama is definitely the change that this country needs..

I'm even more surprised that my county (that has been red longer than my mother has been around) was one of few counties in  the area that voted blue. It was.. to say the very least.. shocking, but amazing to say the least.

I just.. Wow..

I'm super relieved and excited about the change that's going to be coming to the country.

*falls over*
He kinda looks like Se7en in this shot..

Ok.. SO!!

Well.. That last post was totally lame and unlike me in every way shape and form. I would be all 'let's forget that even happened' but I still am suffering a bit from that mind set, BUT have found a sort of hopeful outlook that has brought me out of my 'I hate the world GAH!' slump that I was in and I am quite happy to say that I'm still reaching for the stars.

For a while.. I even abandoned hope of going to the Korean Music Festival and that is something I think is very important to me so to give up on that would be giving up in every sense of the word and I don't ever want to be thought of as a quitter. I also thought about ending my School Daze PDF thing (and the surprise at the end hahaha) but again.. That's quitting and quitting isn't my style. I may postpone things for ridiculous amounts of times, but I don't like to quit something I'm really passionate about. (I'm passionate about both going to KMF as well as PDFing School Daze *determined nod*)

Basically.. I've been having a lot of trouble when it comes to knowing what I want to do when I grow up (yes I still say that.. So sue me..) Of course school is the number one way to success and then there are alternative ways to getting your education such as going into a trade and blah blah blah but in the long run.. Do I really want to either A: study so hard for a piece of paper that gives me mad crazy opportunities to make so much money in a career that I hate? or B: Get my degree in something that's not even that widely received and end up in some downward sloping job that I could never love because it's not what I had in mind?

In my opinion, I have a very naive outlook on education.. Or should I say.. idealistic.. And I don't like how things are run. Obviously this is going to effect me since I'm going to be running around the country without a degree but it doesn't mean that I can get a good paying job and establish myself the way I want to be established... Am I making any sense?

At this point I don't even care.

For now, I'm going to stop going to school and work hard to live the way I want to live. I don't want to go to school so that people can tell me how to think and dictate the actions I take to make a better future for myself. No one knows me better than I know myself and with a little hwaiting spirit, I know that I'll be fine in the work force. I'll work hard and play hard. THAT'S the life that I want. 

I know many people in college and are doing wonderful with what they have chosen to do. They chose college and I'm choosing something else. Already friends have shown distaste in what little of my plan that they know, but I can't let that stop me. They're either going to college because mommy and daddy said so or because they really really want to. Good for them, I support them no matter what. Me? I have to find my own way and right now, college just isn't it.

I feel like I'm losing my train of thought and am just rambling now..

Oh well.. Doesn't matter.. ANYWAY!

I'm going to go to the Korean Music Festival.. No questions asked..

And this time around I think we're gonna eat at this place.. The good looked amazing.. Haha!!! KMF HERE I COME!

He kinda looks like Se7en in this shot..


I didn't get around to much editing today.. Actually a little bit of a tragedy happen about two minutes away from my house.. Uh.. This boy I knew from high school was shot 8 times in the head because some punk wanted to steal his car and he wouldn't let him.. I died about three hours later in the hospital while in serious condition..

He was a well known guy around campus and was just sweet to everyone he met. One of those.. idol personality type of people. I only have good and funny memories of him and it's just so sad that his life was so suddenly taken from him over something so stupid. He was only 22 years old.

I'm just entering my twenties.. and in my opinion, I'm not at the age where I should be buryinh friends.. You know what I mean? I shouldn't be sitting here worrying about if I'll ever see some of my friends the next day, or if they'll ever see me.. I shouldn't wonder is this goodbye is the last goodbye.. It's depressing to think about and a wonderful person was lost today. He was only one semester (18 weeks) away from graduating college.

I'm not going to claim having been best friends with him, but he was a genuinely sweet guy with a sweet disposition.. And he only lost his life today because of desperate fool with a gun..

~*Rest In Peace Delvis Fernandez*~
  • Current Mood
    sad sad
He kinda looks like Se7en in this shot..

Editing Sux (Yeah I said It..)

Well.. I now know that I can mark 'editor' off my list of potential employment options.. HOW THE HECK TO PEOPLE DO IT!!! UGH!!!! GAH!!! It's so not cool.. -.-  But whatev.. I brought this upon myself for not editing my fics before posting them..

Bad me..

But I am doing it now, so that is a good thing.. And uh.. Hmm.. I should be done by tomorrow.. And then editing YB vs TY should't take but a second.. so that might be done tomorrow too.. Then I'll be able to put up PDF's of all TWO of my fics!!! xDDD Haha.. I know I'm special, but I elect not to talk about it.  ^_____^

Anyway, truth be told the editing process isn't as bad as I thought it would be, but hey, don't get me wrong, it's still pretty gosh darn bad, BUT it isn't overly horrible. -.-' I've already done 20 chapters and that's about 132 pages.. -.-' and so I only have 19 more chapters to go.. yay.. that's only what.. another hundred or so pages..?

I wish there was an automatic editor thingy that just KNEW what I was thinking so that it could do all the corrections and what not for me.. I've even had to re-write a few things just because I've realized that I have this horrible tendancy to repeat myself or talk about things that really don't matter.. Kinda like what I'm going now.. -.-'

I really miss writing.. OH! and.. I might put something on the end of the PDF of school daze and considering that like.. almost 90% of everyone who has hardlychoosen friended, they probably won't see this.. xD so i'll make a note or whatever on that journal too, just so everyone knows that and so that they can't say that I didn't tell them, because I so totally did.. -nod nod-

now i'm going to knock out for the next 8 hours because i have class in the morning.. well.. afternoon.. but.. whatever.. who cares.. -.-' 

OH! And I am currently at.. 55,885 words.. and that's like.. what.. half of the fic.. o.O

I scare myself.. I didn't know I had the ability to repeat 'and' that many times.. xD kidding.. anyway.. im dead tired and on the verge of dropping dead right hre on my computer.. -.-

Oh! Picture time!!! Because.. I think if I post one of my horribly taken Korean Music Festival Pictures, I will continue to feel inspired to go. -nod- HWAITING!

It was MAD CRAZY!! Haha.. Look at all those people, and that was like only a tiny section.